Divorce
Deciding whether to be the first to file for divorce is not a decision many take lightly. The attorneys at Beller Law, PL, can help you determine what your best course of action is. With over 25 years of experience, we can guide you through the filing process and provide you with our steady support and advice.
Disadvantages of Filing for Divorce First
Couples delay filing for divorce for many different reasons. For example, one or both spouses might still feel unsure about whether divorce is the right call, and the parties might need more time to be sure of their decision. However, even when one or both spouses know divorce is the right move, they could delay filing because neither wants to be the one to officially begin the process. This can be especially true when children are involved or the divorce is relatively public.
Some disadvantages of being the first to file include:
- Being responsible for beginning the official divorce process,
- Presenting your divorce terms first, and
- Managing the legal aspects of the case.
Although there are disadvantages, being the one to file does not affect the legal aspects of the divorce. In other words, you get no legal advantages or disadvantages with respect to the terms of your divorce based on who files first.
Presenting Your Proposed Terms First
When you file for divorce, you become the plaintiff and your spouse becomes the respondent or defendant. In typical legal proceedings, the plaintiff is responsible for presenting the case and the defendant responds to the plaintiff’s allegations.
In the divorce context, this means the filer is going to file most documents first, including proposals of divorce terms. Generally, the plaintiff spouse requests what they want with respect to:
- Child custody, support, and visitation;
- Property division; and
- Spousal support.
Filing second allows the defendant to see what is most important to you and can give them some advantages when it comes to negotiating.
Case Management
The plaintiff is the master of the case. As the plaintiff, you control many aspects of the divorce, including when and where you file the petition. You are also responsible for serving divorce papers on the defendant spouse. Issues with the service of process can delay or invalidate cases, so it is vital to ensure that divorce papers are served in a legally sufficient manner.
The person who files a case in court is generally responsible for paying filing fees upfront. In Florida, filing for divorce typically costs approximately $400. You may also be responsible for paying service of process fees to the individual or company you hire to serve the papers on your spouse.
Responsibility for Initiating the Divorce
Although not a legal or practical disadvantage, being the one who filed for divorce can be a heavy responsibility. Frequently, divorce is just the legal end to a relationship that has already ended for all practical purposes. Even so, being the one who files can feel like giving up on the relationship, or it can expose you to criticism from individuals who disagree with your desire to get divorced.
Advantages of Filing for Divorce First
Although there are disadvantages to filing for divorce first, there are many advantages as well. Some of those advantages include:
- Having control over the filing,
- Presenting your terms first, and
- Being responsible for beginning the official divorce process.
As this list indicates, many of the disadvantages of filing first are also advantages in the right context. Whether filing first is better depends on your unique situation and the strategy you bring to the divorce.
Control Over Timing and Location
When you file for divorce first, you decide on what date you file. Deciding when you file means you have time to prepare and think through exactly what you want to ask for. You can also plan it around your schedule, and file at the most convenient time for you.
Having control over timing also means you can ensure the divorce actually gets initiated. If you leave the responsibility of filing to your spouse, you may be taken off guard or discover, after weeks or months of waiting, that your spouse appears to have no intention to file.
Additionally, if you and your spouse are living separately, you get to decide where to file. You can file in the location that is most convenient for you, avoiding the risk that you will have to travel to negotiate your divorce.
Presenting Your Proposed Terms First
Although you may show your hand by proposing your terms first, you also set the stage for negotiations. You can establish the starting point and come out of the gate strong. You get to propose terms related to:
- Child custody,
- Child support,
- Property division, and
- Spousal support.
Setting the negotiation starting point is an advantage whether you have many disagreements or only a few.
Responsibility for Divorce Initiation
Although some worry about taking responsibility for filing, for others it can be cathartic or empowering. Especially in the context of an abusive relationship, filing yourself can be a point of pride to show the road you have traveled and the progress you have made in reclaiming your life. Filing yourself also means you can request a protective order against an abusive partner at the same time you request the divorce.
Should You File for Divorce First?
Whether you should file for divorce first depends on your unique circumstances. There are several advantages and disadvantages of filing for divorce first, particularly related to the level of control and responsibility you have over the process. Speaking with an experienced divorce attorney can provide you with crucial guidance to determine whether and when to file. Reach out to Beller Law, PL, to speak with our family lawyers today.